Have Experiences with Jesus to Replace Your Rejection

worshipSeries: Today I Overcome Rejection (Part 2 of 3)

In Part 1 of this series I wrote that:

  • Some scars won’t heal by themselves.  Rejection is one of those scars.
  • Deep desires like belonging can’t be ignored, denied, or disciplined. God made every human being with heart desires that are to be filled – by God and only by God.
  • Rejection comes when we try to fill our heart desire for belonging through other people. We offer our friendship, our romantic love or even our talents to be part of a team or club. And sometimes people don’t want to be our friend, don’t love us, and don’t think we’re qualified, skilled or otherwise desirable as a member of their team or club.
  • Feelings of rejection rob us of rich, full lives in relationship with others.

Why does rejection hurt us so much and for so long?

1. Understanding How We Form Beliefs

Belief – a feeling of confidence or being sure about someone or something without rigorous proof.

Our core beliefs are what we think is true. Beliefs are the filters through which we see others, ourselves, and every aspect of life. They determine what we see as valuable, desirable or useful.

Our beliefs limit or expand the possibilities and potential we see – in ourselves, in others and in situations.

These beliefs are based on our experiences and the meaning we give to them. (Beliefs can also be based on stories we hear that become so real to us that we adopt them as our own.) If we have experienced rejection again and again, our minds try to understand that rejection.

You Don’t Know Everything

Because we don’t know all the facts, can’t see the motives of others, and may not have a good image of who we are to begin with, we often decide a rejection experience means there is something wrong with us. Our thinking may be ridiculously wrong, but that is what we decide. And that becomes a belief by which we see, understand and live our lives.

2. We are Stubborn Creatures

Our minds are like the jaws of an alligator. Once we snap shut on a belief, we are slow to release it. Think of gossip you have heard about someone.

I have held on to lies about someone for years, without a shred of proof, because I once heard a story about him and believed it. I changed that belief only after having an experience with that person that contradicted my beliefs about him.

So, our minds guard our beliefs, even when those beliefs hurt us!

Many people live their lives under a cloud of rejection – the belief that something is wrong with them because someone, somewhere rejected them. Is that you?

3. Experiences Create Beliefs. Experiences Change Beliefs.

Beliefs are created by experiences to which we give meaning (ours or the stories of others that we accept and adopt as our own). To change what you believe, have new experiences. With people, this could be tough because every time we offer ourselves we could be rejected. But, you already know how Jesus feels about you!!

4. Have Experiences with Jesus to Replace Your Rejection

A. Praise and Worship

We Fought All the Way to Church

I remember having a fight with my wife, Karen, all the way to church one Sunday.  It started at home.  The fight got nasty as we walked to the MTR (the subway in Hong Kong).  We fought on the subway in restrained, angry voices.  We got in our last jabs just before we put on our fake smiles and entered the church building.  For us, this was an epic fight!

Praise and worship began.  The last thing I wanted to do was praise.  I was still burning with anger.  I muttered a few words here and there.  I lip synced the second song.  By the third or fourth song, I was singing and wanting my heart to let go of the anger. I couldn’t, not yet. Twenty minutes later, as praise and worship finished, Karen and I were in each other’s arms, asking forgiveness.

What happened?

We had a Jesus encounter.

As we began to praise and worship God, we slowly let go of our thoughts about each other, our pride, and our pain.  God lives in praise and worship in heaven.  God lives in our praise and worship here on earth. Psalm 22:3  God’s presence came on us and we were changed.  God’s joy and peace replaced our anger and our pain.  That’s what Jesus made possible on the cross.

Come Closer

Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name.
Psalm 100:4 (NLT)

Take a step closer. Go through the gates. Thank God. Take another step and another. Praise Him. Take another step closer to God.

God Comes Running to You

God is the Father in the story of the prodigal son. Even when you are far off He comes running to you.

So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.
Luke 15:20 (NLT)

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.
James 4:8

Release Your Rejection, Receive His Belonging

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 (NASB)

As you are praising and worshiping God, you will encounter Him. You will feel His presence. His joy. His love. And He will show you how much you belong – to Him.

Encounter God in these praise and worship songs about you belonging to God.  

I belong to You – Derek Johnson

Rooftops – I Am Yours, Jesus Culture

Good Morning, Jesus!

I get lost in praise and worship every morning using playlists of YouTube videos.  I encounter Jesus in my praises.  He changes me as I worship. You can have regular encounters with God through praise and worship to overcome rejection and know that you belong.

Read the third post in this series: More Experiences with Jesus to Replace Your Rejection on Friday.

Be REAL!  Live REAL!

Please honor and respect others in your comments. Thanks!

About Dave Milford

I am a Christian life coach, writer and teacher.
I help people live lives of heart connection, heart transformation, and real influence.

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