Your Heart Says “Yes”, but Your Mind Says “No.”
Your heart desperately reaches out to be loved, accepted, comforted, approved. But your mind says, “No! You’re not worthy. You don’t deserve it. That’s not for you.”
Have you ever been there? Are you there now? I’ve watched some dear friends go through this quite publicly on Facebook. I spent a few hours there last weekend. Not a nice place to visit. Certainly not a place to stay.
So how do you get out of there when your own mind is guarding your poor self-image?
Jan’s Story
I had just arrived at our weekly home fellowship and was talking to a friend. I felt a dark presence pass behind me. I quickly turned and was surprised to see Jan walking by.
Jan is a godly young woman and a regular member of our fellowship. She is attractive and takes care in her appearance, but not that day. She looked rough. I sensed oppression over her. God told me to help her.
I Don’t Feel Righteous. I Don’t Feel Loved.
After the fellowship, Gina, a mature friend, joined me as we talked to Jan in a quiet place. Jan really wanted to talk. She kept seeing herself as a failure. She knew who the Bible said she was, but she didn’t feel like a daughter of God. She didn’t feel righteous and she didn’t feel loved. She kept having dark thoughts about herself and about God and she was starting to believe them.
Gina began to affirm Jan, “I know you love God and I see how you minister to others in the group.”
“I can see how special you are. God loves you.”
“We can all see what a beautiful person, a beautiful woman, you are.”
I Can’t See That
After each affirmation, Jan held up her hand and made a motion as if to smack down the words that just had been spoken. She was shaking her head.
“I can’t see that,” said Jan with finality. ” I feel ugly.”
Those words struck me. “I can’t see that.” She wanted to believe it, but couldn’t.
Jan Needed An Experience to Change Her Beliefs About Herself
Two weeks earlier I had attended the Transforming the Heart Workshop, where I experienced how deeply held beliefs aren’t changed by knowledge. Our core beliefs are based on experiences to which we give meaning. To change beliefs we need to have different experiences.
I told Jan I heard her saying she wanted to believe what she knows in her mind to be true, but she was really struggling to believe. She agreed. I asked her if she was willing to do one thing every day for the next week to experience what she knows to be true.
“Yes,” she said.
“Ask Jesus, ‘What do you think about me?’ And write down want he says to you.”
Jesus Lets Us Experience Him
Jan looked more than a little skeptical. I shared how I’ve met people who were strong believers in Buddhism, ancestor worship or communism while living in China. I never had much success debating beliefs or even sharing about Jesus with these people. Many wouldn’t even listen.
My first year in China I met Henry. He wanted to believe, but told me he just couldn’t. I felt God saying to have Henry ask God if He was real. I was nervous about it, but I did. That night Jesus appeared to Henry in a dream. Henry needed an experience with God to believe. God gave it to him. (Read Henry’s story.)
I’ve asked a lot of people to do similar things and God has always revealed himself to them. Not always immediately or in such a dramatic way, but He always revealed Himself to them. I told Jan that Jesus would talk to her too.
Jan agreed to ask, “Jesus, what do you think about me?” and to write down what He said.
“You are Beautiful.”
The next week a beautiful, actually radiant, Jan approached my wife and I as we entered the home fellowship. She was holding out her journal for us to see. She had waited several days before she finally asked. But when she did, Jesus answered her. She read what Jesus said to her. He affirmed how precious she was, said how He approved of her and told her He loved her.
She told us that one morning as she was passing a mirror she felt she should stop. She looked in the mirror and Jesus told her she was beautiful. It rocked her. Jan believed Him! The heaviness she had been living under lifted. Jan felt loved.
Jan’s experiences being loved by Jesus destroyed the lies she had been believing. As Jan let Jesus love her, she could accept herself as a beautiful, successful, dearly loved daughter of God. She planned to continue asking Jesus what He thinks about her and writing down the answers.
Your turn!! Today, You Receive Love
What Jesus did for Henry, Jan, and so many others He will do for you. Ask Him, “Jesus, what do you like about me today?” every day for a week. Write down what you hear, see or the impressions you have. Get ready to be loved!
We love because He first loved us. 1 John 4:19
Share how you experienced Jesus in a comment.
About Dave Milford
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